When I look back my recent past in Bissieres I was losing feelings and I see the reason as my experience of 'darkness of human mind'. The darkness of human mind is where I wanted to let it all go and have no desire of anything. The main point by great teachers 'let it all go' got me because I totally agreed that nothing in this world is really really important. I've been stopped from the point of "nothing is really matter." I felt a dragging force which was very comforting. It has no face but has mystic persuasion. I could felt a very quiet gravity which suck me into the oblivious hole. Could the black hole be like this? The way of pulling one's spirit into unknown space... I stayed there some time without knowing much what am I missing though I slowly struggled internally. When I started to change a direction alas, how weak this person is... that's me.
I couldn't do it by myself. I needed to get influenced of new environment. Help comes from up above by its own orbit and its own speed as always. Awareness needs to be always turned on and between emotion and cognition I need to feel both of them clearly and sincerely yet I am still inside to outside randomly zigzag walker in life. I am not sincere enough and therefore I am missing so many beautiful sun rays everyday but at the same time be able to focus on sun rays that I could see...
There are much emotions coming from old habits, because I remember good and bad. More I remember longer story goes on and on. Emotion is wind. The importance of emotion is to experience a deep quality in everything and finally understand what i am or what we are. When I can see duality that is clear then there is only one truth. There is no easy way and nothing is free but love cures everyone and everything. The basic source of energy is love. When we are against of what we are, our struggle never ends. While I was writing this suddenly I realized what I want with my drawings is design. I would like to put my drawings as a design on new products. Like a logo but not really a logo. It will be a logo like design by free hand drawing for something. Simplicity with details of reality are my way of drawing which is linked to my thought. I just had this striking swift glimpse through my mind... Even though I am not a business minded person, I know that my drawings need to be in business.
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