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Monday, July 4, 2011

Reading Sri Ramana


At this moment of my life, I approach Sri Ramana Maharishi's teaching. I got this book in the year of 2000 and at that time I couldn't accept or understand his saying on this book so, I put in the cave. 11 years passed since and now I understand much more about what he is saying. Through last decade I was learning about soul, dream, connection with all universe and most importantly about karma. There are so many emotions I've got through to understand all these things in my past. Just for understanding what they are and why they exist. I am a full of mind and thoughts person. My dream tells me about my directions, predictions and lousy emotions. I am enough to be greedy sometimes and very ambitious in certain ways. Sometimes because i really want to be like that with strong ego. I love to be good but in a limited human body. Now the message for my stage of life is about Nirvana. Nirvana? no dream, no desire, no sadness, no anger... stop thinking what i want but do not stay in non thinking hypnotized way. Be aware everything around and find real of me who is higher and deeper than anything else in this world. why my desire of heart inclined to learn this? Only one reason came cross with the thoughts that I don't want to repeat all emotions which create all karma whether it is good or bad.... I never would be perfect. I could be jealous and tell a lie... I could be a coward in a way. My doubts, confusions and egos... With little disgusting things I see in my heart, I know that I just can't be a perfect good person. So, on my thinking there could be a way to find real solution, not temporary but eternal one. Then suddenly the book of Sri Ramana was found last week from my cave. I am not ready to give up who I am and what I want yet. Even though everything was illusion and things I have to erase someday I just want to hold on to it until I really have to.... stupid? And even the day arrives, I might not achieve anything like Nirvana state, but trying to understand and follow what he is teaching would help my soul and save from my thirst for truth, that is what i know now. I am on my way. The road where i am ahead is unknown because it all depends on myself. My Painting would be progressed through my understanding of this new learning of my true self. It will be a whole new chapter then.....

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