being

I've never ever thought this kind of drawing is coming out of me...! But it makes me feel so good somehow.... In this painting the water like shape is actually presenting myself, my dress made not by fabrics but inner something and I feel that it has incessant movements and flowing abundance through the source which I would say Moon !

while I was walking today and I had a little moment of ecstasy in front of golden colored space, where the cropped wheat revealed the bottom of earth among many of rolled round hay bales. To me this place has been where I could find a replacement of the ocean since I moved in countryside. I was wrapped with soft wind and completely out from who I am. Then I started to listen to the story of my home which was quietly traveled around my mind.  I concentrated to understand what the story was trying to tell me.... about what is really  my being... Then the moment got faded... ! well.

I had these kinds moments often with my night ocean in Lorient but now I know it wasn't only ocean that brings me to that world. The beauty itself around me is getting more and more alive and deeper everyday... How can I explain... and make me laugh so much. eeerrr.... maybe it is one of symptoms of getting mad?? Anyway now I am looking at this drawing, amazed and feeling very very weird.

I just looked the meaning of word 'healer' and found this as my longing answer.
"The healer is not giving healing energy, they are receiving it. "