I finally started to communicate with Etsy : thanx to Emma from French team ( I'm always scared to engage with somewhere or something) but this time I think it's time, working for new series for the shop tonight and making a commitment. Amen. well just few day after I quit. I told the group that I don't have time but the truth was I didn't like their rules. I tried several times and eventually I decided out again. I can't follow the rule.... I am not made for rules. can I change myself? when you face who you really are, it is quite depressing and very painful to accept all faults of your own. But without it we can't grow up further.
I love to think that I almost finished this one but the truth is not and also not so sure if I can make this one right. If I suffer so much it means this painting goes really into the right place? Sometimes yes, sometimes no. I am suffering with this right hand side painting. It doesn't show its own light as it should and now time is ticking, it's almost two whole months..... What is it that I don't understand in this one? Or this present moment of my life there is something missing as a light or as understanding? The bonds are strong, so it is much possible. Today I approached a bit nearer (in my spirit) and right away I felt from my painting gleaming lights are coming but not perfectly. I just know when I see the painting... something is missing, something is not done.... It makes me suffer within time which goes so fast without make any noises. Time is a challenge.
I am reading Alberto Giacometti at the moment. I will write about what I am thinking when I finish the book. Alberto died the year I was born. He and Peter Doig are my favorite contemporary artists personally. Reading his books (it's not all his writings though) is like sneaking around his place and meeting him to learn about much more wonderful things! by the way from now on I won't mind to put more photos besides paintings in this blog.
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