my love of non belonging

Going to public without real achievement is quite stressing  through my head. I don't have much work experiences as a painter, I started very late and I have been extremely alone in work area. I belong to nobody and nowhere. I enjoy that non belonging system of life maybe too much. Many people work through grad school, gallery and community based on where they live step by step. My destiny made lots of detours and dramatic ups and downs. What I had followed was mostly nothing but my intuitions.  And this moment of life I am putting everything I've learned into work. I am hoping this exposed event can bring me practical terms of benefits. I don't  believe my fine art could give me better salaries, it will take my rest whole life to get where I want to be in work. So I started design things 3 years ago, which I love to do it more and more. Through several other venues I only selected two venues to work with for the art show.

In June I am having an exhibition with art below team (2nd time) and there are 60 different artists. As unknown artist, public show could be a balloon. Pretty colors and floats high above, looking good then disappear. Art below gave me great experienced time, I really appreciate to their venue. My 4th art fair will be with parallax (also 2nd time) in august (I trust this venue) and this time is in New York. I hesitated at first. 12 years ago I left from Providence (2 hours from NY) to paris as a fashion designer student.  Now such a distance and change, I feel strange...

Doing these art fairs makes me feel (my sensibility picks the things that I should feel) and makes me grow up further. They are mostly painful experiences so far but it teaches me valuable lessons. Everything in this world is about learning.

People who work with artists should remember that we are all different in our expressing ways as artists. Style comes through person's uniqueness therefore it can't be forced. So before they hire them they have to study artists cautiously. Everything has to go naturally and it means also it needs time, sometimes more than we imagine.